THE COMEDY OF ERRORS

Act 1 Scene 2

(Enter from the bay Antipholus of Syracuse, Merchant of Ephesus, and Dromio of Syracuse)
l1l	Merchant [Of Ephesus]	 Therefore give out you are of Epidamnum,
l2l		Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate.
l3l		This very day a Syracusian merchant
l4l		Is apprehended for arrival here,
l5l		And, not being able to buy out his life,
l6l		According to the statute of the town
l7l		Dies ere the weary sun set in the west.
l8l		There is your money that I had to keep.
l9l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	(to Dromio)
		 Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host,
l10l		And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee.
l11l		Within this hour it will be dinner-time.
l12l		Till that I’ll view the manners of the town,
l13l		Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings,
l14l		And then return and sleep within mine inn#
l15l		For with long travel I am stiff and weary.
l16l		Get thee away.
l17l	Dromio Of Syracuse	Many a man would take you at your word,
l18l		And go indeed, having so good a mean.
		(Exit)
l19l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	 A trusty villain, sir, that very oft,
l20l		When I am dull with care and melancholy,
l21l		Lightens my humour with his merry jests.
l22l		What, will you walk with me about the town,
l23l		And then go to my inn and dine with me?
l24l	Merchant [Of Ephesus]	I am invited, sir, to certain merchants
l25l		Of whom I hope to make much benefit.
l26l		I crave your pardon. Soon at five o’clock,
l27l		Please you, I’ll meet with you upon the mart,
l28l		And afterward consort you till bedtime.
l29l		My present business calls me from you now.
l30l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	Farewell till then. I will go lose myself,
l31l		And wander up and down to view the city.
l32l	Merchant [Of Ephesus]	Sir, I commend you to your own content.
		( 32 Exit)
l33l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	 He that commends me to mine own content
l34l		Commends me to the thing I cannot get.
l35l		I to the world am like a drop of water
l36l		That in the ocean seeks another drop,
l37l		Who, falling there to find his fellow forth,
l38l		Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself.
l39l		So I, to find a mother and a brother,
l40l		In quest of them, unhappy, lose myself.
		(Enter Dromio of Ephesus)
l41l		Here comes the almanac of my true date.
l42l		What now? How chance thou art returned so soon?
l43l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Returned so soon? Rather approached too late.
l44l		The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit.
l45l		The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell#
l46l		My mistress made it one upon my cheek.
l47l		She is so hot because the meat is cold.
l48l		The meat is cold because you come not home.
l49l		You come not home because you have no stomach.
l50l		You have no stomach, having broke your fast#
l51l		But we that know what ’tis to fast and pray
l52l		Are penitent for your default today.
l53l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	Stop in your wind, sir. Tell me this, I pray:
l54l		Where have you left the money that I gave you?
l55l	Dromio Of Ephesus	O—sixpence that I had o’ Wednesday last
l56l		To pay the saddler for my mistress’ crupper?
l57l		The saddler had it, sir# I kept it not.
l58l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	I am not in a sportive humour now.
l59l		Tell me, and dally not: where is the money?
l60l		We being strangers here, how dar’st thou trust
l61l		So great a charge from thine own custody?
l62l	Dromio Of Ephesus	I pray you, jest, sir, as you sit at dinner.
l63l		I from my mistress come to you in post.
l64l		If I return I shall be post indeed,
l65l		For she will scour your fault upon my pate.
l66l		Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock,
l67l		And strike you home without a messenger.
l68l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season.
l69l		Reserve them till a merrier hour than this.
l70l		Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee?
l71l	Dromio Of Ephesus	To me, sir? Why, you gave no gold to me.
l72l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness,
l73l		And tell me how thou hast disposed thy charge.
l74l	Dromio Of Ephesus	My charge was but to fetch you from the mart
l75l		Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner.
l76l		My mistress and her sister stays for you.
l77l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	Now, as I am a Christian, answer me
l78l		In what safe place you have bestowed my money,
l79l		Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours
l80l		That stands on tricks when I am undisposed.
l81l		Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me?
l82l	Dromio Of Ephesus	I have some marks of yours upon my pate,
l83l		Some of my mistress’ marks upon my shoulders,
l84l		But not a thousand marks between you both.
l85l		If I should pay your worship those again,
l86l		Perchance you will not bear them patiently.
l87l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	Thy mistress’ marks? What mistress, slave, hast thou?
l88l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Your worship’s wife, my mistress, at the Phoenix:
l89l		She that doth fast till you come home to dinner,
l90l		And prays that you will hie you home to dinner.
l91l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face,
l92l		Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave!
		(He beats Dromio)
l93l	Dromio Of Ephesus	 What mean you, sir? For God’s sake, hold your hands!
l94l		Nay, an you will not, sir, I’ll take my heels.
		(Exit)
l95l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	 Upon my life, by some device or other
l96l		The villain is o’er-raught of all my money.
l97l		They say this town is full of cozenage,
l98l		As nimble jugglers that deceive the eye,
l99l		Dark-working sorcerers that change the mind,
l100l		Soul-killing witches that deform the body,
l101l		Disguisèd cheaters, prating mountebanks,
l102l		And many suchlike libertines of sin.
l103l		If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner.
l104l		I’ll to the Centaur to go seek this slave.
l105l		I greatly fear my money is not safe.
		(Exit)
	[[ACT INTERVAL]]